and how wink wink

Nursing Fail

2008-09-05T16:46:00.001-05:00

FAIL Blog: Pictures and Videos of Owned, Pwnd and Fail Moments

Just a post about PC toast

2008-08-19T10:59:00.002-05:00

CrazyPC Case Mods, Cooling, Gaming, and More.

Ever have a late night craving for toast, but you don't want to get up from your PC to go to the kitchen? Well CrazyPC has just what you need. The Bay Toaster fits in a standard 5.25 drive bay and connects via USB with Windows software for adjusting heat and time (sorry Mac users - try to make toast with your iPhone, hah!)

No you can't touch mine, you already broke yours off

2008-08-12T17:41:00.001-05:00

Go to Weird Universe to view a complete scanned copy of "A Boy Today…A Man Tomorrow." It's a sexual education booklet for boys circa 1972. I'm sure you can imagine some of the content and yes, it is as funny as you might think.

A Boy Today…A Man Tomorrow - On Weird Universe

Maybe the $400 haircut wasn't so bad after all

2008-08-08T17:54:00.002-05:00

Edwards admits affair | U.S. | Reuters

Wow, it's a good thing he's not in office. The GOP would already be drawing up the impeachment papers.

ABC said that Edwards, 55, admitted he had the affair with a woman he met in a New York City bar in 2006.

"I told my wife that I had a liaison with another woman, and I asked for her forgiveness," Edwards said in a statement that he released after ABC News reported details of the affair.

Not a snow day, a ninja day

2008-08-07T09:09:00.000-05:00

"Ninja" Sighting Shuts Down NJ School

Public schools in Barnegat, NJ were put on lock down for a short time after someone reported seeing a ninja running through the woods behind an elementary school. Turns out it was actually a camp counselor who was running late to a nearby school on a costume day.

Bush Pushes the Deficit Even Higher

2008-07-28T12:55:00.003-05:00

White House projects record deficit for 2009 - CNN.com

Best part of the artice: "If they gave out Olympic medals for fiscal irresponsibility, President Bush would take the gold, silver and bronze," Conrad said.

22.....28

2008-07-24T13:40:00.001-05:00

Cameron Diaz & Christina Applegate - Amazing videos are here

Feed me!

2008-07-18T17:42:00.000-05:00

i asked santa for a baby alive, and all i got was this stupid dishwasher

Another classic from www.passiveaggressivenotes.com

The only tubes he uses are tube socks

2008-07-16T17:21:00.000-05:00

John McCain Can't Read This Column - Columns by PC Magazine

Great article by Lance Ulanoff about McCain and his aversion to technology.

McCain recently admitted to The New York Times that he currently has other people go online to get him the information he needs, adding that he's working on mastering the technology. According to the Times, McCain uses "his wife, and aides like Mark Salter, a senior adviser, and Brooke Buchanan, his press secretary, to get him online." McCain actually said that these people "go on for me."

Then the clincher from McCain: "I don't e-mail. I've never felt the particular need to e-mail."

Say Cheese!

2008-07-14T12:18:00.000-05:00

Just checking out the slide show feature on picasaweb.google.com

Microsoft Widows Windows 3.11

2008-07-11T15:57:00.000-05:00

John Coyne's Embedded Blog : It's the End for 3.11!!

For those that were not aware, we recently announced that effective November 1st, 2008, OEM's will no longer be able to license Windows for Workgroups 3.11 in the embedded channel.

It almost brings a tear to my eye. Almost.

Who's been a good guy?

2008-07-08T11:58:00.002-05:00

Jermaine Dye! Vote for JD!

Spread the Fire! - Firefox 3

2008-06-17T17:19:00.005-05:00

Firefox 3 Web Browser Release Planned

The makers of the popular Firefox web browser has announced the release of Firefox 3, the newest in a series of web browsers. It is being released June 17th, 2008.

Spread the Fire!
Internet Explorer be damned!

Download here

Fathers Day at PostSecret

2008-06-15T16:15:00.005-05:00

PostSecret

I still remember when I was 8 years old and my sister registered as a Democrat in South Dakota. My father's response was "you're lucky your grandparents aren't alive to hear about this." Being raised as a Catholic and a farmer I guess this was a close to blasphemy as you could get.

By the time I registered as a Democrat 10 years later, I guess they considered me a lost cause.

F*#$in' Awesome

2008-06-09T11:22:00.001-05:00

Instant Classic from a couple years ago that I just stumbled across again. Too bad it's a Bud Light commercial :)

YouTube - Swear Jar

Swear Jar: Official and complete version!

Hillary's Evil Plot?

2008-05-21T09:43:00.001-05:00

It seems like every week the question is posed: "Why is Hillary still running?"

Since the day John Edwards relieved himself from the race, I have been a Hillary supporter. After another day of primaries, and another split vote, my stance is wavering.

I am reminded of one of my favorite websites from the '04 campaign: www.JohnKerryIsADoucheBagButImVotingForHimAnyway.com (which does not exist anymore, sorry.) That site catered to the "anyone but Bush" crowd and at this point I am leaning toward joining the "anyone but McCain" crowd.

Today I found a very interesting blog entry that gives cynical, albeit plausible, reasons for why Clinton hasn't dropped out of the race to be the Democratic nominee for President. I'm not saying I believe or agree with what the 52 year old, self proclaimed "old-school conservative/libertarian" is saying, but frankly, it scares me.

Here is a small taste:

"If Hillary was interested in Party unity she would have dropped out when it became clear that she had no chance of overtaking Obama in pledged delegates. And I have no doubt she would work her hardest to support the nominee of the Party, as long as that nominee’s last name is Clinton."

Read entire post here: Chron.com - Houston Chronicle

Bill O'Reilly CAN be fun

2008-05-15T17:56:00.001-05:00

Ahhh Bill-O...
If there is anybody out there who hasn't heard of this yet, you have to watch it.

The original behind scenes clip is here:

And here is the amusing "remix" if you will:

Good Times :)

Thanks to the Tom Leykis Show (MySpace Page) for pointing me to the "remix" version.

You nah cookin'?! Yea dude!

2008-05-14T11:12:00.001-05:00

For those of you who have not seen any G.I. Joe PSA's that are re-voiced over with hilarious dialogs, you must do a google search for porkchop sandwiches at the very least. They are classic.

Full Image |(JPEG Image, 500x375 pixels)

Thanks to: http://datawhat.blogspot.com/

Countdown in 5... years of videos

2008-04-22T11:53:00.001-05:00

Five years of your favorite Sports Center Anchor turned nightly MSNBC truth teller.

All the best videos here.

Hey Hillary: "Bottoms up!"

2008-04-14T12:46:00.001-05:00

Courtesy: gawker.comIf I was at all undecided about my preference for the Democratic nomination, I no longer have doubts. Raise a glass for the next President Clinton!

She was recently trolling for votes at a small bar known as Bronko's in Crown Point, Indiana. She graciously accepted an offer for a shot of Crown Royal and a couple mugs of Old Style before setting down with some pepperoni pizza.

Obama's response:

"Around election time, the candidates they just can't do enough. They'll promise you anything; they’ll give you a long list of proposals. They'll even come around, with TV crews in tow and throw back a shot and a beer."

I don't know about you but I think that shows commitment. Even if it does leave a bitter taste in your mouth.

Video from the event.

Who next for Pikachu Peek-a-Boo?

2008-04-05T12:15:00.000-05:00

I chose you!

(Click for larger image)

This is just wrong, but incredibly funny

Found on The FAIL Blog

(Thanks to Waldo for pointing out the site to me.)

Devils leaving me feeling blue

2008-03-22T22:02:00.000-05:00

It was fun while it lasted. From 1997 through 2006, the Duke Blue Devils advanced to the Sweet 16 every single year. During that time, they also made three trips to the Final Four and even captured a national championship in 2001.

Today they lost to the West Virginia Mountaineers by a score of 73-67. This now marks a two-year drought, after getting knocked out in the first round last year.

Booo...

Photo courtesy of The FAIL Blog

Three Government Contractors (joke)

2008-03-02T11:25:00.000-06:00

Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the White House in D.C.; one from New Jersey , another from Tennessee and the third, from Florida . They go with a White House official to examine the fence.

The Florida contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measuring, then works some figures with a pencil. 'Well', he says, 'I figure the job will run about $900: $400 for materials, $400 for my crew and $100 profit for me.'

The Tennessee contractor also does some measuring and figuring, then says, 'I can do this job for $700: $300 for materials, $300 for my crew and $100 profit for me.'

The New Jersey contractor doesn't measure or figure, but leans over to the White House official and whispers, '$2,700.'

The official, incredulous, says, 'You didn't even measure like the other guys! How did you come up with such a high figure?'

The New Jersey contractor whispers back, '$1000 for me, $1000 for you, and we hire the guy from Tennessee to fix the fence.'

'Done!' replies the government official.
And that friends, is how it all works!

(found via the internets)

Just a post about egg toast

2008-02-20T09:53:00.000-06:00

Happy Home Baking: Fun with Toast
(Original Content Here)

I really want to try this, it looks good!

For all you Ramen Noodle fans out there

2007-10-25T16:42:00.000-05:00

I have no article or information to go with it. I'm feeling far too lazy to google deep enough today. I will just leave the photo with a grin on my face.

Why can't I think of million dollar ideas like this? man...

Taking the finger

2007-09-04T15:23:00.000-05:00

I broke my right-hand pinky finger at volleyball last night practicing my overhand setting. We were using Waldo's new volleyball that was too full of air.

That is a better excuse than the beers I had consumed earlier throughout the night. :)

You don't bring me flowers anymore

2007-08-14T13:34:00.000-05:00

Find me somebody that hasn't had a similar conversation and I will show you somebody that has too many cats.

Basic Instructions, by Scott Meyer.

Happy 28 Buddy

2007-08-06T18:07:00.000-05:00

This last Friday night my long time best friend Dirk Jones joined me at the ripe age of 28. We had steak, we imbibed, we foosed. Then, at some point not too long after this picture was taken, came the shots.

He does not remember what happened when we went across the street to another bar. This is why I need to list his actions here for a matter of public record.

When handed a tequila shot, dumped on floor in spite.
Knocked over an entire table of drinks.
Threw a cocktail glass at a guy and broke it against the wall.
Spilled his beer on the foosball table and tried to push it down the goal.
Almost "took it outside" with five(5) different guys.
Found a penny on the floor and threw it at the waitress to get her attention.
Was visited somewhere near ten times by the bouncer, yet still did not get kicked out. (you're welcome)
Wore the pink balloon I got him at Champs tied to his waist.
Wore a gift shirt that read: "I see you've noticed my big PP."

Good Times :)

Beer VS Gas

2007-07-27T12:19:00.000-05:00

I was thinking the same thing when I filled up the tank and bought a case of beer.

No cover charge for this cover

2007-07-12T17:54:00.000-05:00

I received my copy of Velvet Revolver's new cd "Libertad" today. The name of the albumn roughly translates to "liberty" or "freedom" in English. While thoughts of liberty rolled through my head, two very patriotic, red stars came into my vision. This appears to be some strange form of "media pasties". To be honest I may not have noticed what they were ever so slightly obscuring had they not been there.

I guess there are a few things this country still has to be proud of.

Bud busted for bud

2007-05-16T00:17:00.000-05:00

The irony of the world never ceases to amaze me. David Faustino, former star of a show that I once loved: "Married with Children" was recently reprimanded while being, for lack of a better term, baked.

Here is just one respectable surmise of the story.

Alanis Morissette and Her Humps

2007-04-03T21:56:00.000-05:00

This is incredible, it took me a while to digest, but I love it. To actually have to listen to the words of this song is incredibly painful. However, the satirical way they are delivered, is near perfect.

When Weird Al parodies a song, it seems to be in acknowledgment of how popular a song has become. This seems more like a wake up call the pop radio lemmings. As Alanis looks at the camera you can almost read (what I believe to be) her thoughts: "Can you believe this shit?"

What cannot be forgotten (or forgiven) is that she was the one who stood nude in the street with her blurred bush for her video "Thank You." Isn't it ironic?

Fountain of Youth

2007-03-21T23:28:00.000-05:00

This looks like a great time. I have to give credit to Jon Waldman, aka: Waldo for turning me on to this pic. This has to be replicated by one of us on some occasion and soon.

Click here for the original posting.

Guarding the Crease

2007-02-21T22:36:00.000-06:00

On Tuesday, #1 Mickey Meyer, a goalie for the USC Trojans hockey team, bared all for his team on the ice. It wasn't a family friendly highlight real, to say the least.

As I was informed by watching Countdown with Keith Olbermann this evening, it was quite a scene.

Said goalie, Mickey Meyer, was apparently fed up with the refs during the third period. He dropped his pants to show his bare buttocks and then began "riding his hockey stick like a horse and slapping his butt." He may face criminal charges for the incident.

The icing on the cake of the story? He was replaced, in net, by fellow teammate:

#33 Matt Buttweiler

Yes, Buttweiler. Click here for ESPN's account of the story

You must forward this post

2007-02-14T23:25:00.000-06:00

In honor of Valentine's Day I will post this.

We all hate spam/chain letter threats but this one is the best I've seen before. It came from a comment for a video on YouTube. Classic :)

"PLEASE DON'T READ THIS. You will get kissed on the nearest possible Friday by the love of your life. Tomorrow will be the best day of your life. However, if you don't post this comment to at least 3 videos, you will die within 2 days. Copy and paste this, to be saved"

Yes, it's not: you will have bad luck for the next 3 years, or your cat will die, or you will lose money on the stock market, or you will fart in public, or you will never win the lottery, or you will never ever ever ever EVER get to be with your "crush".

You, will, die. Glorious :)

Today is National Beer Can Appreciation Day

2007-01-24T23:18:00.000-06:00

I love Miller Lite, I love beer cans. Let's celebrate!

John Kerry is a douchbag but I'm voting for him anyway...

2007-01-23T21:04:00.000-06:00

That was the case in the last presidential election, but thankfully not again.

Is America really ready for a woman president? I'm slightly more sold on the idea after this interview. Just imagine Bill as the first man...

What's in YOUR water...

2007-01-18T01:12:00.000-06:00

Michael Vick recently was stopped at Miami International Airport with a water bottle containing a hidden compartment. The initial police report said it contained a “small amount of dark particulate and an odor consistent with marijuana.

If you are as intrigued as I was, here is an example of such bottle:

Original image found here: www.selfdefensesupply.com

Don't crowd the plow

2007-01-15T22:38:00.000-06:00

The snow has fallen upon us, and it is good. I love the snow!

Here is the view from my apartment:

Holiday Season 2006

2006-12-25T03:35:00.000-06:00

Upstairs I can hear my youngest nephew, Tre Jr., coughing. As of today he is nine months old. His older brother is no longer banging away on the side of his crib, finally asleep, so that's a plus. Older brother, (huh), Henry Dale is 19 months old, but he is still very protective. But, if we are talking about toys... it's every boy for himself. Little Tre is usually left to play with whatever HD leaves for him, but he takes it in stride. He doesn't cry, he just looks around and grabs something else to play with. He doesn't make a fit, have a tantrum, or start crying. I think this world needs more people like him.

Here we are, once again in the middle of the holiday season. We are either engulfed in the spirit of tidings, or forced to sit through family gatherings of meals and presents. It just depends on your attitude.

I want snow. This sucks without snow. I hate brown grass. I don't want it to rain in December.

I just wish that uncle Jeffery wasn't their only male influence, as I am not the best with kids, but I am getting better. They were robbed of their grandfather six years ago, and robbed of their father last November. Lord knows that they are both in our hearts though.

27 years on this earth, I think I finally have a better idea what joy is. I got what I wanted for Christmas: Seinfeld season four, a scale with a BMI measurement, sweaters, socks, a sonicare toothbrush, and the new Stephen King book. I did not feel joy, when I opened my presents. I was happy yes, I was pleased with my gifts, don't get me wrong. However, when grandma opened her new computer I built her and flailed her arms, that was when I felt joy. When my sister opened her spa gift package and was almost brought to tears, that was when I felt joy.

I've heard those words time and time again: "It's better to give, then receive." Now they finally make sense.

As we ate our Christmas Eve dinner and my mother asked me if I wanted sweet potatoes... I replied with the same response I've given for the past 20+ years. No mom, I still don't like sweet potatoes.

Thanksgiving 2006

2006-11-23T22:56:00.000-06:00

Happy Turkey-Day everyone. What do we have to be thankful for? I'm listing my new 22 inch wide screen LCD at work. What about you?

Thank you for your vote

2006-11-09T00:56:00.000-06:00

It looks like the blue states (with the help of a green state or two) will have regained control in both houses of congress. I wonder what Dubya's question to this answer is going to be:

Original image found here: stonefruit.blogspot.com

Halloween 2006

2006-11-01T21:20:00.000-06:00

This year's costume clad celebration will be remembered. I don't know how well though, I had quite a few to drink :)

When you're about to leave for a costume party in a few hours,and have no costume, your options are quite limited. When you are person who has had a shaved head only twice in 27 years, you hope to capitalize on the opportunity. A couple pair of socks and a friend with dog tags (thanks Brent) and look what you can have!

Thanks to Ambrosia for the pic, but I had to have a little fun with it.

A FATHER'S CONCERN

2005-11-05T00:18:00.000-06:00

A father put his three year old daughter to bed,
told her a story and listened to her prayers
which she ended by saying:

"God bless Mommy - God bless daddy -
God bless grandma and good-bye grandpa."

The father asked, "Why did you say
good-bye grandpa?" The little girl said, "I don't
know daddy, it just seemed like the thing to do."

The next day grandpa died. The father thought it
was a strange coincidence. A few months later the
father put the girl to bed and listened to her
prayers, which went like this:
"God bless Mommy - God Bless daddy and
good-bye grandma."

The next day the grandmother died. Oh my gosh,
thought the father, this kid is in contact with the
other side. Several weeks later when the girl was
going to bed the dad heard her say:

"God bless Mommy and good-bye daddy."
He practically went into shock. He couldn't sleep
all night and got up at the crack of dawn to go to his
office. He was nervous as a cat all day, had lunch
sent in and watched the clock figuring if he could
get by until midnight he would be okay.

He felt safe in the office so instead of going home
at the end of the day, he stayed there drinking coffee,
looking at his watch and jumping at every sound. Finally
when midnight arrived, he breathed a sigh of relief and
went home. When he got home his wife said, "I've never

seen you work so late, what's the matter?" He said, "I don't
want to talk about it...I've just spent the worst day of my life."

She said, "You think you had a bad day, you'll never
believe what happened to me. This morning the milkman
dropped dead on our porch."

Airport Bathroom

2005-11-04T23:50:00.000-06:00

I was barely sitting down when I heard a voice from the other stall saying:
"Hi, how are you?"

I'm not the type to start a conversation in the restroom but I don't know what got into me, so I answered, somewhat embarrassed,
"Doin' just fine!"

And the other person says:
"So what are you up to?"

What kind of question is that? At that point, I'm thinking this is too bizarre so I say:
"Uhhh, I'm like you, just traveling!"

At this point I am just trying to get out as fast as I can when I hear another question.
"Can I come over?"

Ok, this question is just too weird for me but I figured I could just be polite and end the conversation. I tell them
"No........I'm a little busy right now!!!"

Then I hear the person say nervously...
"Listen, I'll have to call you back.

There's an idiot in the other stall who keeps answering all my questions..."

CAR TROUBLE

2005-11-04T23:11:00.000-06:00

A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it
died. After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.

She says, "What's the story?"

He replies, "Just crap in the carbuerator"

She asks, "And, how often do I have to do that?"

The End of the Beginning

2004-06-22T16:20:00.000-05:00

So this is a blog... interesting :)
-JokerFest-